Falling Up

Haveyou ever had the chance to experience this wonderful statement?

Falling up to me means to be falling down in lifebut by the grace of God you don’t hit bottom because before you do he offersyou an opportunity to “fall up”. Let me tell you about my most recent (becauseI have had several) falling up experience.

It started with self-inflicted pain. I chose topartake in the use of drugs. Not just once. And not “just weed”. I ended upgetting involved in things I knew I probably shouldn’t, but I did anyhowbecause it masked the pain and depression I was going through at the time.

Skip ahead a few months into January when I wasmaking bad choices influenced at first by others but then it slowly went to myown decision making skills which have never been great when it came to maskingthe pain of something I did want to feel. However, In this situation the only thing I wanted to get really get away from was myself. The person I had become had made me sick to think about, sick to look at in the mirror. I hated who I had become.

But then something tragic happened right around the end of March, I got fired from my job that I loved, that I excelled at. You’re probably wondering why I would get fired from a job I did so well at.. well, I wad boughten all of my baggage, negativity, and poor choices into my job. They day I got fired was one of the worst days I’ve had simply for the reason that I felt like my world was crumbling but I never would have thought I was the problem behind all of it.

Now looking back on that day I completely understandwhy I was “let go”. I wasn’t making choices that benefited the company I wasworking for. If anything I hurt the company and their reputation. Which wasnever my intent. I thought I was just being “me”. Well, come to find out I wasn’treally me at all. I was someone who had I known a person like that I would havebeen disgusted by their behaviors.

I knew once I had hit rock bottom there wasn’t anywhereI was going to go but even further down (thinking at the time that, that wasn’teven possible). With Gods love, grace, and commitment I somehow “Fell Up”. It wasn’teven a full week later and I had landed a job doubling my pay, with benefits,and a career opportunity. Tell me that is a coincidence, and I will tell you itwas God. Sure, I put the effort into looking for this job but  it wasn’t me who allowed me to have theopportunity to interview or the grace to carry me through the training when I stillcontinued to struggle with some of the bad decisions I was still making.

As of today, I still fall short on a daily basis.I still make poor decisions, and I probably will for the rest of my life. Oneof the many differences between then and now is that I know I am not in this journeyalone, and no matter what if I buckle down and get serious about changing, anddoing life differently God will always carry me through. That doesn’t mean I wontsuffer any consequences along the way but what it does mean is that I will alwayshave a chance with Him to be better than I was yesterday and the daughter Hecreated me to be.

I hope on some level you all can relate andunderstand that we all fall short. Most of us fall short for years, some fortheir whole lives. The important thing we all need to remember is that we arenever alone, even during the darkest times when you try to give up on God, Hewill never abandon you, never stop loving you, and will always have faith inyou to make the right decisions even if it means starting all over tomorrow.